History Has Never Been So Messed Up
by Ika234789
Summary: Meeka and Yuki are two ordinary girls who one day find themselves transported by a bright light into the world of Hetalia during a world meeting. What should they do you ask? Well lie and say they are some of the nations secret love children and hopefully keep up the act long enough till they figure out how to get home.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Hetalia 'cries'.

(A/N I haven't given up on my other story A Day in Ikebukuro I just got this idea with my editor on a quick one-shot and if you ask where this story came from blame the soda anyway please remember to review and if you are religious and don't like the mention of Satan sorry then don't read this just warning you).

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These are some of the translations of the words in the story we used Google to translate.

French to English

Chéri- honey

Angleterre- England

Amérique- America

Amour- love

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I sat quietly on the couch with Meeka watching Hetalia when suddenly a bright light appeared from the TV, dragging us in. As soon as I opened my eyes I realized I was in the Conference room of Hetalia, with a lot of confused nations staring at me. I know I should be celebrating that I was in the world of Hetalia but when you're in a room with a bunch of men and one has a pitch axe you kind of want to feel like Canada at this moment.  
"May I ask who are you two and how did you suddenly appear out of nowhere?" Germany shouted.  
"Um well I am Japan and France's secret love child and that girl over there is England and America's secret love child" Meeka suggested, rubbing her head sheepishly. 'You lying son of a bitch,' I thought glaring at Meeka. "Ohohohohohoh, I didn't know you had it in you Angleterre," France smirked. "What the hell you talking about you wine-loving bastard? I did no such thing! You should be the one to blame, who knows how many women you slept with!" England shouted.  
"SHUT THE HELL UP AND YOU TWO GIRLS START EXPLAING!" Germany shouted silencing everyone in the room.  
"Um, well, England was drunk and America was out of it," I said deciding to go along with this pathetic lie Meeka made up.  
"France drugged Japan and well, what else do I need to say?" Meeka shrugged. Japan stared at France with an expression of horror, "wait how can a man get pregnant?"  
"Well first you have sex then…." Meeka was cut short, "We didn't need to know that part!" China shouted. "Meeka, you disturb me," I said. "How can you say that Yuki? I am lovable," Meeka whined.

"Can we get back on topic?" China huffed "Oh yeah, well, what I was saying the pregnancy was a one day thing and was caused by a weird genetic thing that only happens once so shut the fuck up and deal," Meeka exclaimed. "That doesn't help us at all, but what else can we do?" Japan sighed. "Wait dudes, who is the mom and who is the dad?" America asked, causing an awkward silence. England was the first to break it "well I am no mother, do I look like a mother?"  
"With the way you raised me, I say not." America exclaimed. I watched as England started choking America and couldn't believe everyone actually bought this lie. They were supposed to be the great nations we adore. I am starting to rethink my life.  
"Mama," Meeka smirked at Japan who before had a traumatized look, now had a 'how the fuck am I the uke' look.  
"England you are the mother, so please stop choking America," I said. "Angleterre, I knew there was something feminine about you," France laughed. "WHY YOU…." England shouted, but was soon cut off.  
"WHY CAN'T WE HAVE ONE MEETING WITHOUT YOU ALL CAUSING A DISTURBANCE?!" Germany shouted at the top of his lungs.  
"I'm sorry Germany, I guess this news is way too much to handle for now. Maybe we should call it a day," I suggested. Germany sighed and got out of his chair, "Fine but for now America, Japan, and France you shall be staying at England's so you can take care of these girls. I don't want to hear any objections, we'll solve everything at next weeks meeting. Now, everyone this meeting is dismissed."  
Everyone soon fled out the door, leaving the six of us together.  
"What, wait, I don't want these vermin in my house, especially not the frog!" England yelled  
"Excuse me England, but if we have to watch these girls its best to watch them at your place since we are currently in England and we certainly can't just go to another country that fast!" Japan exclaimed.  
"Angleterre, even I knew that." France snickered.  
I couldn't help but feel like this was going to be a long week I thought, watching the scene before me. (A/N Seriously since I am lazy lets just skip to England's house).

Walking around the garden I noticed something, "why is there a flying green bunny?" I asked.  
"Aw man, don't tell me you see imaginary things to?" America said. "Wait you see him?" England asked, walking towards me with the bunny in his hands. "Yeah, I see him, and he is really cute." I smiled petting the bunny.  
England looked at me with a small smile, "his name is flying mint-chip bunny". "Seriously why are you two talking to thin air?" America asked.  
England sent him a small glare.  
"Um, maybe it's time we start cooking dinner." Japan suggested.  
"Good idea chéri," France smirked, leaning against a motionless Japan. "Papa, stop trying to molest mama," Meeka said, walking out of the house with a basket of scones.  
"Why do you have those?" I asked pointing to the scones."  
"I wanted to see if they are really that deadly, so I decided to go test them on birds!" Meeka exclaimed.  
"My cooking isn't that bad." England murmured.

"Dude, your cooking sucks." America said, patting England on the back. I knew I would hit myself later for what I was about to do, but I couldn't stand seeing England or America depressed after I watched the Revolutionary war episode of Hetalia.  
So I sucked up my pride, "Papa stop saying mean things to mama his cooking does not suck!" I said, Both men looked shocked at my words. "Amour is such a beautiful thing, no?" France smirked whispering into England's ear.  
"Dinner is ready!" Japan yelled, attracting everyone's attention and thankfully stopping what could have been another 100 years war.  
Wait, when did Japan even start dinner? Oh well, food is food.  
I followed everyone inside and sat down between England and America while Meeka sat between France and Japan.

"Would you like to tell us about yourselves?" Japan asked, looking at Meeka and me.  
"Well sure, I will start. As you know, the name is Meeka. I am a pervert who loves rice."  
Everyone looked at Meeka with uncertainty, except for France, who actually looked at Meeka with pride.  
"I guess I should say something about me then.. Well, the name's Yuki. If you guys didn't catch that, and I love video games and I suck at cooking." I said looking around.  
"Damn, she is like me." I heard America and England whisper at the same time.  
Um maybe its time for bed I thought getting up "Thank you for the food Japan I am going to head to bed," I said.  
"Ah, you're welcome. Goodnight." Japan replied.

I woke up in the middle of the night, thirsty, deciding to get water.  
I left the room and wandered down the hall, "Japan tell me a story." I heard Meeka's voice ask.  
Curious, I opened a door leading outside and peeked out to see Meeka sitting down leaning her head on Japan's shoulder and Japan quietly sipping some tea while I think trying to think of a good story.  
'How did Meeka get so close to Japan?' I thought, but decided it was because he thought she was actually his child.  
Quietly, I walked away from the scene and into the kitchen to find America eating. What did I expect? But anyway, was everyone awake this late? "Oh Yuki, you're up. Are you hungry?" America asked.  
"No, I just wanted some water." I replied finding a cup.  
America studied me a few moments "hey Yuki, are you really my daughter?"  
Whatever water was in my mouth, I had completely spit out into a coughing fit.  
"Are you alright?" America asked.  
"Yea I'm fine why did you ask such a question?" I said.  
"Well I find it weird that you drop from out of nowhere, into a world meeting saying that were your parents and I know I would remember if I had a kid." America explained, causing me to gulp. Shit America never acted this perceptive in the anime series. Now I know I am screwed, I thought looking into his eyes.  
"I guess I can't lie anymore. I am not your daughter, you could say I am from a parallel universe. Before you say anything, I am not a alien. I just come from a different earth where you guys don't exist but your countries do." I explained.  
"Bloody hell, really?" England's said, walking into the room "how long have you been there?" I asked.

"Long enough. Now please, tell the class dear, why are you still here then?" England said.  
"I don't know how to get back home," I murmured.  
"Well then as the hero, I will help you get home." America smiled.  
"Really? Thank you! But where would we start? All I remember is a bright light and poof I'm here." I waved my hands in the air as an example.

"Magic," England murmured.  
"Magic in our world doesn't exist, unless you worship Satan or are a street performer." I informed them.  
"Do you want my help or not?" England hissed.  
"Why so grouchy England? Maybe you should go back to bed, the old people do need their rest you know." America laughed.  
"Quiet you git." England said, glaring.  
I decided enough was enough and walked over and pulled England into a hug.  
"What are you doing? Unhand me now!" England shouted.  
"England calm down and tell me why you are so angry what's wrong?" I asked, looking up into his eyes trying not to get distracted by the eyebrows.  
England looked at me with uncertainty "nothing is wrong now unhand me."

"Not until you tell me the truth," I argued back.  
"Wow England, maybe she really was our child she has my stubbornness." America laughed.  
"What is going on…." Meeka's voice stopped as soon as she saw the scene.  
"Meeka is everything alright you suddenly wandered off..." Japan stopped talking, also as soon as he saw the scene "please wait let me get my camera" Japan said running off.

Okay that was just.. wow anything else want to suddenly happen please go ahead I thought.  
"Angleterre, I never knew you were into incest, but I guess if you truly are in love with her and as the nation of love I shall give you this advice because you are terrible when it comes to women except in your pirate days when you almost raped them and those delinquent days when sadly all the girls swooned for the tough act and I almost raped you well I still do try but lets get off that topic, shall we. Since you became a gentlemen you should go for it if you truly do love her and since you never had any luck with dating since you became a gentlemen you should probably take this advice so good luck Angleterre," France announced, twirling into the kitchen.  
"Really, England you were that badass? That's hot." Meeka smirked.  
"It's long in the past." England murmured.  
"I think that's cool, you must have been pretty awesome back then England." I said watching England face light up with a small blush.  
I smiled and looked towards France.  
"I am not his daughter" I said deciding I should start my explanation all over again.  
"I see. Well, then maybe Angleterre isn't going to die alone after all." France sighed.  
"You say that if you hoped it would have happened that way frog," England shouted.  
"Wait, you said bright light? That could have been from Tony's machine. We were trying to create a time machine, I guess it frizzed out and exploded but maybe that's the reason you're here." America explained, I decided I would probably get England to say nothing so I stopped hugging him.  
"You git why didn't you tell us this earlier?" England stomped over to America.  
"Dude, calm down. I forgot that's all." America rubbed his head sheepishly "Can the machine be fixed?" I asked  
"Yes in fact let me call Tony to bring it over," America smiled.  
"Well while Amérique does that, lets talk about you." France smirked "Which one of 'us' are you referring to France?" Meeka implied.

"All of you of course. and by talking about you I mean lets talk about how your sexual lives are." France exclaimed waving a finger "I'm only sixteen!" I shouted suddenly feeling hands cover my ears.

"Shut it you curly haired bastard, you don't need to taint there innocence!"  
"Um guys, we heard things that would make the devil worship us so I think are innocence has already been tainted!" Meeka exclaimed, I felt England let go of my ears.  
"Hey everyone Tony just dropped off the machine and he said it's fixed!" America shouted  
"That was fast," I said, walking over to America who was messing with some buttons on the machine.  
"I told Tony all about the situation dudes and he was like oh I know what the problem is so now everything is fixed so you can return home and you have me the hero to thank." America grinned. "And blame," England hissed.

"Hey everyone, I heard there was pasta here." Italy suddenly announced coming out of nowhere.

"Where the fuck did you come from!" We all shouted in unison.  
"Da, I also am wondering." we all turned to see Russia standing in the doorway next to Italy.

"Seriously, how the hell did you people get here, its still like in the middle of the night." we screamed in unison again.

"Let's just go," I sighed motioning to the machine. "Sure, just step in the machine and I will send you home." America informed us.  
I started walking to the machine, when a hand stopped me. I turned to see England.

"Do you really have to go?" he whispered. "Sadly, yea I am not a nation, so I can't live forever like you guys. Plus I have another life I need to get back to." I said giving England a hug.  
"Yuki what's that on your hand?" Meeka asked pointing to my hand.  
I looked down and noticed a note.  
"You are now a new colony" I read. "Wait I have one also!" Meeka exclaimed, waving her hand. "So that means were now colony's," I asked feeling scared that all the men were giving lecherous looks "Well, I know who I want to go with, hey Italy." Meeka shouted running towards Italy and then I was left with all scary men and Russia.

"You join with mother Russia da," Russia smiled.  
"Um" I whimpered.  
"No come with me I got wonderful wine," France stated. "No," I stated bluntly.  
I looked over to see Japan just staring okay then I thought turning to America and England.  
"Dude, you should totally come with me. I have hamburgers and video games" America shouted, I then looked at England who just said nothing. "I don't know I like you both," I said causing England to glare at America. "Why don't you come with me poppet, we can have loads of fun." England smirked tilting my chin up. Oh shit I brought out his seme mode but I guess I made up my mind.  
"sure" I stuttered watching him smile in victory. "Have fun invading her vital regions Angleterre," France snickered.  
France then got kneed by Meeka and you could say after this me and Meeka decided to stay in this world with everyone.

Meeka now makes pasta with her boyfriend, Italy, and helps France find dates. But she also makes time for Japan, since they became such good friends.  
As for me I now am dating England, which is pretty obvious. I have become best friends with America, England dislikes the friendship but what's the worst that could happen me getting a hamburger addiction and getting fat. I doubt that could happen when everything you eat at England's is deadly.

You could say we all lived happily every after. (A/N –fail-)


	2. Chapter 2

Notice

Hey everyone I should have put this notice up earlier but school got in the way plus Internet trouble. Anyway you all know how this was only going to be a one-shot and nothing more well I got a request from awsmpup and allowed her to do her own version of a sequel to History has never been so messed up I suggest you go check it out.


End file.
